Relax, it's not as messy as it sounds. Pee-on-a-stick, at home STD tests may be available in UK pharmacies soon, complete with an incredibly convenient app that would save you a trip to the clinic. It works like this: if you suspect you may have an STD, you would pee on a device which is then inserted into your mobile phone. The app then "diagnoses" your sample and returns results.
Via The Guardian:
"The self-testing devices are aimed at technology-savvy young people. Public health experts are concerned that, although most STIs occur among that age group, many are too embarrassed to visit a GP or a genito-urinary medicine clinic to get tested and therefore continue to suffer and potentially pass the disease on. Doctors hope that the ability to obtain a private, confidential diagnosis will overcome their widespread reluctance to take a test.
The developers of the rapid testing devices expect them to be sold for as little as 50p or £1 each in vending machines in nightclubs, pharmacies and in supermarkets, as condoms are. They are drawing on nanotechnology and microfluidics, the creation of miniaturised laboratories..." (Read more)